Articles
1: Polarising Filt...2: Close Bird...
3: Photography!...
4: Japan Again!...
5: Boredom...
6: Ouroboros...
7: As yet unamed g...
8: Japan!...
9: Google street v...
10: KanaQuiz for An...
11: Japan!...
12: This site is em...
13: Querk.com.au...
14: Biding my rage...
15: Improvement ...
16: Quine...
17: Japan and It's ...
18: Exploitation...
19: Obfuscation...
20: Life is lame...
21: An experiment i...
22: Conky buses!...
23: Nullam rewritte...
24: Kill my family ...
25: Take my mind...
26: Story of My Lif...
27: Existence and r...
28: I want to kill ...
29: Everyone should...
30: Nihilism, Athei...
31: I want a psychi...
32: Personal Preemp...
33: Schizoid Person...
34: Infinite life...
35: Being in the Sh...
36: 1TB gone...
37: Thought...
38: Artificial inte...
39: Simulation...
40: Very confused...
41: Introduction...
42: Disclaimer...
43: So long old bea...
44: NULLAM FAMILY T...
45: NULLAM FAMILY T...
46: But, soft! Bris...
47: Want to write h...
Neighbours
» applemansigloo» blazerknight
| Biding my rage | |
| 3/8/2010 - 00:26:24 - 0 comments - By | |
| I feel empty and sad almost constantly. I want to meet someone and have friends. I want to be recognised and respected. I want to have something to drive me everyday. I don't know what I need.
I'm so introverted and insanely lonely I can't bear it, I'm filled with inexpressible rage and lust. I can't even express myself any way other than plain text. I feel so stupid in front of other people and at the end of every day I lie in bed and stress over every misspoken word and unintended impression I give to people. I want to be free spirited and not care about anything. I try but it cannot possibly happen. I can't be myself anywhere. Even when I'm just walking down the street I'm self-conscious of what passer-bys are thinking. Despite this I feel so disconnected and bitter. I convince myself that I'm somewhat emotionless and to a degree I think I am. But whatever the case I'm conflicted and angry, which are emotions themselves. There are many things for which I feel nothing where everyone else feels intensely. I very much prefer to be alone and feel chills when my phone rings, though I'm comfortable with emails. I can't participate on face-book, it wears me thin. I couldn't care less about other people and I can't see myself ever caring. I feel that my life is so monotonous, straight-forward and simple; I want there to be no laws and barriers. I want to be free to do what I wish without consequence. At the end of the day though; I'm glad to be me. -- Potential employers: Please ignore the above. |
|